Our Time is NOW...

It's amazing how one day you look and your second child and he is already Three. Someone told me, awhile back, that the second child is so different than the first. In so many ways, but mostly in the fact that you really can't dedicate as much time to that one child. I thought I would be different.

Disclaimer: I know I do a lot with my kids, but some times I look at Nolan and feel like I just don't give him enough, and some times I really feel like I am failing him.

Nolan, either by nature or default, is a very independent child. I think I have fallen for this fact that I just don't have to interact with him as much as I did Hudson (a very NOT independent child). While I was working this past semester, it would be painful to even pull out the paints. It seemed like a chore even though it was something so easy. I found myself spending a lot of time at coffee houses and running meaningless errands. I thought that the four hours we had alone together could be used for cleaning house, doing chores, but not too much interacting. It really didn't hit me until I stopped working and I've been available to my kids all day. I didn't realize how little I was putting forth for my second child.

Having one child is (ahem) pretty easy to motivate. It's you and this one being. I was wiping out projects left and right. We were baking, hiking, exploring, etc. It was new and I was new to the Stay at home mom gig. When they napped, you could get stuff done. You actually had a good 2-3 hours to yourself. That's when a lot of those chores were done. Fast forward to your second child and you want all those things, but you ask yourself, "do I really want to paint again today?" "do we really need to go hiking, it's raining outside?" I've realized I have become that mom. Always putting so much effort into my first child, but not nearly enough into my second.

But, the one thing I can do, is change.

I am so happy to be spending so much  more quality time with my little guy. His face lights up when I sit down to play with him. To spend more time engaging in things and not spending as much time focusing on the things for just me. I watch as I start welcoming him to help me with things, at first he doesn't have any motivation to help, but then he starts to open up to it. I know it's because I haven't included him in so many of my daily tasks.

Nolan loves to bake, and now that's a part of our weekly rhythm:

 

And paint: 

 

We are not sending Nolan to preschool next year, and it's my responsibility to meet him at his developmental stages. I am so excited to have our little nook of preschool homeschooling. 

Because before we know it, he will be going on 6 and heading to first grade like his big brother. His time is now, OUR time is now. 

What grade is your child in?

There's been an ongoing joke with people I meet these days. It goes like this:

Insert any Siskiyou School Event

Person: "So what grade is your child in?"

Me: "I don't actually have a child here at the school, but will next year."

This is usually followed by a blank stare and then the "and why do you volunteer so much?"

It's a good question because I am volunteering a lot of time and energy to the school and people see me around a lot. This evening was the Siskiyou School's Annual All School meeting. I was there working with the Hospitality Committee. A committee that I was very excited to be a part of.  I basically help set up the food and wine, make sure everything is taken care of in that department, and that people are generally happy. The meeting was very insightful to know the ins and outs of what is happening with the school and I witnessed something so incredibly beautiful. We heard from teachers who have been with the school since the days of it's fruition. To hear them speak of their trials and tribulations and to see where the school has been led, made me so happy to be a part of such an incredible group. To see the dedication that those teachers put forth to make certain that the school continued. Their sweat and tears and perseverance to make certain that my son was able to have a chance at such an amazing education. It is that core group that I hold with such reverence!

My real love for the school came when I signed up for an auction item last year. I signed up for a painting class with Christine Crawley.  This class transformed me. I am not sure what it was about the class, but something enbodied more than just the actual class. I remember a distinct feeling when Christine was teaching us how to do wet on wet painting, a feeling so profound as I watched the paints fall onto my paper, to start to blend in a harmounious way. The feeling of a group of us together, standing as one, and painting. In a world rather hurried, it was a moment of a teacher passing on her wisdom to her adult students. Listening to Christine direct us and watching my pictures come to life brought me to a place of wanting more. Wanting to bring this to my own children. To look forward to how I can have this feeling all the time. That painting hangs on my wall and everyday I pass it and am reminded of that feeling of the beginning towards something so much bigger than myself. I will always be thankful for Christine's class.

 I am there for more than just the volunteering. I am there for the community. I am there for the "feeling." This year I started working at the Siskiyou School as their aftercare provider. It has been such a change for me to hold the children for that hour in a time when they have ended their day. To keep them grounded for a little more time and to bring them together in peace. I have watched them grow and transform over the past few months. They have grown taller, they have grown in their being, but they have also grown in their inner selves. The kids have such great compassion and love. They have taught me so much and next week my position ends as the kids start to go the full day. I have many moments of heavy heart when I think of not seeing those kids every day. To not witness their growing personalities, to listen to their extensive chatter. They will never know what a deep impact they all had on me, but I walk away with such a feeling of happiness and fullness.

Oh the wonderful things I have gained.  I have walked in the doors of the school and have witnessed the beauty of what makes the Siskiyou School. I see a staff so well put together and a community of families that are dedicating themselves to the greater good of the school. I walk past beautiful artwork displayed on the walls by the students. I walk past the music room and hear the harmonious voices of students. This week the students have been singing Jack Johnson's song "Better Together" and I can't help but smile and think, we are.. "Better Together." The majority of my work has taken place in the kitchen as I prepare for the kids after school snack. The kitchen is one of the greatest meeting spots and a place where I have connected with most of the faculty. I have been met with such gratitude and such warmth.

So, no, I do not have a kid at the school. But what I do have is passion! I have such passion for the school and what is happening there. I have passion for Waldorf education. I have passion for learning more. I am blessed to have a beautiful friend that sets me in place to be able to volunteer so much. She has transformed my life more than she will ever know. My dear friend, Katie, such beauty and greatness. Such a blessing that she has shared so much with me.

It is with such heart that I continue to learn and seek more knowledge on how to better myself and my experiences. I do that with the people I surround myself with and these people are making such profound impacts.  Community.. such the root of feeling connected.

Putting myself out **THERE**

 

Today I was talking to a mom and she said " I would love to have your confidence and ability to put myself out there." We were talking about my recent media presentation. I chuckled a bit, because she has no idea how I lack in confidence in this department.

Last week I geared up for a Media Presentation. It comes as no huge shocker that I am not keen on any media for children (especially young children). Last year I presented my class project on the topic and my teacher said I needed to "take it to the masses." I gave a smile, that uncomfortable chuckle, and thought to myself "Hell No!"

You see. I don't have a ton of confidence to put myself out there. I just really, Really, REALLY, think people need to have more information on this topic. I really think that our media culture is moving WAY too fast for adults, let alone children. So, I chant to myself:

"You Can Do It!"

"You Can Do It!" 

"You Can Do It!"

And last week I did do it. I arrived at a local preschool where I set up my materials, looked at an audience of parents and even grand parents. And then.. I wondered to myself... "What am I doing here?" It's funny that I sometimes don't see myself as a successful woman in her 30's (ahem! I did run a very successful wedding planning business in San Francisco), but I see myself as my 16 year old self. Not worthy of presenting to people. But, then it dawns on me, these people are hear because they TOO really care to hear about the Effects of Screen Media and Children.

Then... I can breathe.. and start to speak. And once I start to speak.. it rolls.. like a child rolling down a big grassy hill. It rolls! and I find myself in my element. I find myself confident and excited. My passion for children, Waldorf, life.. it can be seen through my words and I enter into my being and I greet it with a warm embrace. 

My presentation was a success. A good balance of science, stats and personal experiences. I was so happy to open this email from one of the parents: 

"Hi Lora,

You did such a wonderful job on your talk! First of all, and perhaps most importantly, the content is so important and well thought out. Your delivery was very well done with a great mix of anecdote as well as scientific references. Your message touched me deeply and reinforces some of the choices I have made about screens and refocuses me on areas I could do much better at (those iphones are terrible!). Anyway I just wanted to share my support of what you are doing. It is a difficult message to give because it makes all of us parents question the choices we are making and highlights where we are falling short and that can make people defensive. Good for you, it is a message that must be heard and awareness must be brought to this.

Thank you!"

 

And that.. makes it all worth it! Excited to bring the presentation to more schools. 

 

If you have a school that you think would benefit from a Media Presentation, please email me at: madebylora@gmail.com

2014 Diet Changes

Like so many other people on this planet, I did make a "diet resolution" this year. It came at the recommendation from my doctor. He believes that gluten and caffeine are a source for a lot of the digestive problems I have. I have been suffering from horrible stomach pains for years and he said cutting these two things out of my diet would warrant profound changes. 

IT'S NOT EASY!

I have currently switched to only decaf coffee, but I do have hopes of eliminating it all together. 

Gluten is YUMMY! 

Let's be honest. There is no real substitute for gluten. Even though they try, the gluten free stuff just isn't that great. My hope is that it starts tasting better with time. For now though, I am trying my hand at just natural whole foods and keeping grains somewhat limited. Smoothies have been a key part of my new diet. I take a bunch of kale and spinach and add fruit.. blend away.. and eat. It's very filling and doesn't leave me feeling the constant need to snack. 

Heather, over at Beauty That Moves, blogged a yummy breakfast recipe Banana Blender pancakes

These pancakes were really moist and fluffy. I couldn't believe how easy they were to make and kids devoured them **Without Syrup!**

The other shift has been for lunch. I am currently enjoying bean chicken soups and lettuce wraps. They make for easy, no fuss lunches. 

Snacking is easy. A handful of almonds or other nuts. Carrots. Celery with peanut butter. 

I have really enjoyed not finishing my children's snacks. Although, also the hardest! Leftover scone? Nope! Leftover tortilla? Nope! My waistline will thank me for this shift for sure!

It's a life change for sure, but I am also very excited about it. Yes! In just 10 days I have felt so much better. I haven't had any stomach bloating or feelings of getting sick. It's so nice to be listening to my body and deciding to take the necessary changes now. 

When going Gluten Free, understand that you still have to read the ingredients. Gluten Free products still have lots of sugars and ingredients that break down into sugar. Just because it's Gluten Free, doesn't mean it's healthy! 

Let me know if you have any great recipes to share.

Waldorf Dolls

Christmas has come and gone and the new toys have found their new homes. It's such a great feeling to clear out the living room after such an epic explosion happens, don't you agree? Every year I make my boys something. Last year I made them quilts, this year I made them Waldorf dolls and Ergos. My boys are ages (almost) 3 and 5 1/2. I thought it was the perfect time to make these dolls for them because they would know to be gentle with them. Let's be honest, these dolls take HOURS to make. I also hand made their clothing, so add even more hours to the equation.

They were both elated when they opened the boxes Christmas morning. Hugs happened and names were given. Hudon's doll: Stripey, Nolan's: Elf.

Naturally!

The night before Christmas my husband said "don't be disappointed if the boys don't play with their dolls, you just never know." And I had no expectations. Actually, I expected for them to lay on the floor and then be picked up, by me, and then I would have to find them a new home just like I did with all the other toys. I was completely fine with that. But the opposite has happened. The boys LOVE these dolls. I think a lot of their Love comes from the fact that I made them. They are elated when I make them things and are so sweet about it. But it actually goes a bit further. They actually really love them. They change their clothes at bedtime, they give them random kisses, my wonderful mother bought Nolan a stroller and they stroll them around.. They actually take care of them. Except for the first 10 minutes after opening the doll, Nolan took an orange marker to "her" head. Luckily I have a spot remover that works magic!

Here comes the interesting bit about this topic. Some people actually have a hard time digesting boys and dolls. Call me crazy but I just don't get it. I believe it is important to teach our kids about how to be with babies and how to care for them. The hope is that one day they will be father's of their own and will have to actually take care of a baby. The fact that we distinguish that a doll is a "girls" toy speaks volumes about our culture and our perception what is the woman's role and the man's. I, however, don't see it this way and luckily, my husband doesn't either. My husband has spent hours carrying our children, feeding them, strollering them, etc. I do know that children like to imitate their parents, and I see my boys and their dolls and they are imitating the good men/fathers that we have in this world.

It will be reassuring to me when boys can stop imitating these guys:

And start imitating this guy:

Here's to our future co-sleepers!

Toys for Tots

This afternoon I was looking for stocking items at our local gift store. I happened upon the PlayMobil section. They have a massive amount of PlayMobil and my almost 6 year old is starting to like playing with these toys. I looked around to see if anything would spark my interest, but instead, I saw this toy with this caption.

"Watch out. The bank robber is after all the money in the bank and is demanding the key to the safe- what will the bank manager do? With thirty accessories like files, a computer, a safe and gold bars to create a realistic bank scene, there's plenty to do in the Playmobil bank. Insert the card into the cash machine to withdraw bank notes and open the doors of the safe to reveal the gold bullion inside.

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 Not suitable for children under 4 years due to small parts.

I love that PLAYMOBIL is concerned about children possibly choking on small parts, so therefore, deeming this gun robbery scenario as not suitable for children under 4. HOWEVER, this woman, holding a gun at a bank teller, and demanding money.. perfectly suitable for your 4 year old. There are many things wrong with this product, but one that mostly struck me as horrendous was the age recommendation of 4-10. Do we really want our 4 year old children to be introduced to such things at this age. A time when they have the ability to use their imagination in a positive way. Why is there this push and need to show our toddlers violence? If you were in a bank, and a woman showed up in dark sunglasses and a gun and requested all the banks money, don't you think your child would be pretty upset? This type of imagery is unacceptable in our world of already too much violence. 

Furthermore, PLAYMOBIL is a German company.  In Germany, the German Weapons Act was put into law in 1972. It includes, and modifies, previous gun regulation laws. It regulates the handling of knives, firearms and ammunition. It is considered as one of the strictest gun laws in the world. 

However, this company felt it completely fine to make a toy like this. Shame on you PLAYMOBIL!

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A little more about their philiosophy as a company.

From PLAYMOBIL'S website they state: 

"The imaginative role play opportunities integrated with a variety of historical and modern play themes is fascinating to children and highly valued by parents and educational practitioners alike."
 
"PLAYMOBIL®’s unique play principle stimulates imagination and creativity and thus promotes child development. With PLAYMOBIL®, children can not only slip into many different roles, but also recreate and experience the world in miniature. With multiple talents, these cheerful figures successfully overcome all kinds of challenges – as knights or pirates in historical scenarios, as construction workers, vets and police officers today, or as secret agents in futuristic worlds."

It's nice to know that this "cheerful" bank robber can successfully overcome all kinds of challenges. Too bad that the poor bank teller will probably have to spend the rest of his life in complete fear that a blonde woman with glasses could possibly hold him up at gun point again. Too bad he will have challenges in sleep and trust. Ahhh.. maybe they need to have a follow up to this toy.. I see a bank teller and a therapist!

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I asked the store that I was in, "Why are you carrying this product?" The owner didn't even realize that this product was so violent. He said "they had to purchase a set" That set included a police man, the robbers, and some other police and swat figurines. After a lengthy discussion with him about how we need to protect children from this imagery and types of play at such a young age, he agreed to contact PLAYMOBIL and discuss returning these items. He also let me know that they received the item in July, and have yet to sell 1 unit. Thank you Ashlanders for not purchasing this toy!

I understand that there will be a lot of people that are completely fine with this product, but I ask "when do we draw the line?" No one wants to be held up at a bank, right? That would not be fun. When will we demand that toy makers not rip the imaginations of children and inundate them with images of violence? Will PLAYMOBIL go as far to have a school setting one day with a gunman? That sounds crazy, right? Well doesn't this seem crazy too?

Finding my way back

Just like with anything, there are times when we just need a break. I needed that break. I needed to escape from the online world for a bit, gather my thoughts and decide if I wanted to continue with my "need" for sharing things about my life. At times I find myself wondering how much I really want to share with readers about how we live our lives. Then there are other times, when I feel so overly compelled to share. 

It's my nature to be a "sharer." 

I am looking forward to bringing more things to this blog space. A sharing of my continued journey into Waldorf education, my shifting and enlightening moments of child rearing, and much more. I am also going to be guest blogging over at Fertile Foods and hope that you will join me over there. 

As I near my next birthday (this Saturday), I am finding such an excitement surrounding these endeavors as I have made another trip around the sun. 

“A healthy social life arises when the whole community finds its reflection in the mirror of person’s soul, and when the virtue of each person lives in the whole community.” -Rudolf Steiner