Home "schooling"

I don't really think what I do is home "schooling" but it is a modified version. I actually love being out with my kids and doing things like art, digging, gardening, chalking, etc. I love that I get to try and be a kid again. 

There are times that I actually think about home schooling my boys. Especially my first son. He is not that kid who LOVES school. I actually think he goes to school because we tell him he has to go. This morning I dropped him off and he was very sad. As the tears ran down his face it felt so wrong to turn my back and walk away. I did cuddle with him a bit, but then I sent him off with his teacher and hoped that he would be fine for the day. He made it through the day, but I still ask myself  "do I want him to make it through the day?" 

The other side of it is that I know that I could home school. My life has always revolved around being a planner, a go getter, and creative work. I know that I could home school him the way that I wanted.. in the Waldorf way. I just fear that he would miss out on things that I could not give him. I watch him all the time and I really listen to how he is doing. This thing called parenthood never ceases to amaze me. 

Today the air was cold, but the forecast looks gloomy in the next days. I set up the easel and Hudson and I painted. He on one side, me on the other. I recently took a painting class at the Siskiyou School with Christine Crawly. I loved that class. I loved the techniques that I learned on how to paint wet on wet. I was even happier to bring that home with me and teach Hudson. He is always eager to learn and he was fascinated by the things I taught him. 

His final painting. A very lucky recipient will be receiving this soon in the mail. 

I might be completely insane that I let my 4 year old handle my "fancy" camera, but he has heard me say that I am never in any pictures, so he asked me to take my photo. 

Hudson's portraits of me painting

I will always be so thankful for the wonderful gift of being home with my kids. Hudson has taught me so much about life and loving this world. His love for beauty, his confidence in his decisions, his ability to speak with love and gratitude is something that I try to emulate every day.