Thursday, April 18, 2013

Parent Education

"The more you are motivated by love, the more fearless and free your action will be" -Dalai Lama
 
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The past few months I have been taking the Fundamentals of Waldorf Education class series with Paula Lynam from The Secret Garden. It's a foundation class that's skims the surface of what Waldorf is, why it works and an intro into Rudolph Steiner.

As a parent, I feel the importance of educating one selves on the art of parenting. It's not an easy "job" and there are many peaks and valleys. I have recently found myself in a valley, actually a dungeon with my almost 5 year old. This happens. This time the conflict was eating at my core and I was starting to take everything from him personally. That he was needing distance from me to see all that I do for him. That I was not going to let him take advantage of everything that I give him. It was a week of battle. It was cold outside and we were going stir crazy. I saw him being angry. I felt my body become angry.

Once I came to the conclusion that I had officially had it, I told my husband that I was done! I needed a weekend away. I couldn't handle his new found attitude and complete sassy talk. I  am a mother! I deserve respect for all that I do, doesn't he know how lucky he is that I stay home?

My husband agreed. "yes, you do need some time away, but for now Channel your Inner Waldorf."

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I know it sounds cheesy, but this works for me. It's my signal to, STOP. THINK. BREATHE. Obviously my almost 5 year old boy needs me in a capacity that he cannot speak. He is showing me, through his actions and words, that he needs me MORE now and taking time away from him will not make things better, but actually worse. I was lucky that my class was last night and I was able to bring these feelings to the table. A group of women, supporting women, and breathing and living Waldorf. The gentle approach to parenting/education. My eyes opening even more that what I am going through is not new. That I need to stop and "feel" my son. Create that connection with him that is wavering at the moment. Find my own inner peace and reach out to him to guide him back to center.

It's all too easy to fall into a rut and a battleground with your child. It's hard to STOP. THINK. BREATHE. Especially when they are driving you to the end. I see that my son is anticipating his upcoming birthday. That there is a change happening in him. He is testing what is okay and what is not. I need to find a gentle way to redirect him into the way we speak, act, and the way we live. That's my job.

The transition for me was to take him into the garden. To leave the inside walls that seemed to be closing in on us. To take our hands and bury them in the dirt. To do manual labor where we talked and worked very hard. A blessing to me is that my son is a very hard worker. He will spend hours in the garden and will actually work very hard.
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It is through this open walls of nature that I can talk to him, to reconnect, and to show him I am there for him. To welcome him into this safe place and letting him know that he can treat me with the respect I know he has for me. That we are connected in this task together. I am present with him and he present with me.

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For this beauty is bountiful and it warrants the ability to breathe.
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