It's amazing how one day you look and your second child and he is already Three. Someone told me, awhile back, that the second child is so different than the first. In so many ways, but mostly in the fact that you really can't dedicate as much time to that one child. I thought I would be different.
Disclaimer: I know I do a lot with my kids, but some times I look at Nolan and feel like I just don't give him enough, and some times I really feel like I am failing him.
Nolan, either by nature or default, is a very independent child. I think I have fallen for this fact that I just don't have to interact with him as much as I did Hudson (a very NOT independent child). While I was working this past semester, it would be painful to even pull out the paints. It seemed like a chore even though it was something so easy. I found myself spending a lot of time at coffee houses and running meaningless errands. I thought that the four hours we had alone together could be used for cleaning house, doing chores, but not too much interacting. It really didn't hit me until I stopped working and I've been available to my kids all day. I didn't realize how little I was putting forth for my second child.
Having one child is (ahem) pretty easy to motivate. It's you and this one being. I was wiping out projects left and right. We were baking, hiking, exploring, etc. It was new and I was new to the Stay at home mom gig. When they napped, you could get stuff done. You actually had a good 2-3 hours to yourself. That's when a lot of those chores were done. Fast forward to your second child and you want all those things, but you ask yourself, "do I really want to paint again today?" "do we really need to go hiking, it's raining outside?" I've realized I have become that mom. Always putting so much effort into my first child, but not nearly enough into my second.
But, the one thing I can do, is change.
I am so happy to be spending so much more quality time with my little guy. His face lights up when I sit down to play with him. To spend more time engaging in things and not spending as much time focusing on the things for just me. I watch as I start welcoming him to help me with things, at first he doesn't have any motivation to help, but then he starts to open up to it. I know it's because I haven't included him in so many of my daily tasks.
Nolan loves to bake, and now that's a part of our weekly rhythm:
We are not sending Nolan to preschool next year, and it's my responsibility to meet him at his developmental stages. I am so excited to have our little nook of preschool homeschooling.
Because before we know it, he will be going on 6 and heading to first grade like his big brother. His time is now, OUR time is now.