Saturday, December 29, 2012

The Great Iphone Debate

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Lately in our house Adrian (husband) and I have been having the big Iphone Debate. We both have one. We are both obsessed with them. We are both getting tired of our own behaviors.

Oh the pesky Iphone. It does so much for us. We can text at an extremely fast rate. We can Facetime with relatives both near and far. We can listen to Pandora. We have apps. Apps. APPS! What a wonderful device. I can take a pic in a mere second, upload it, send it to 10 friends, I can do things FAST! I can check email in a second. I can stop at a stoplight, whip out my phone, check. Message. Email. Facebook.

I can stand in the line at Mix and check messages, Zulilly, Facebook, Email. I could run the world with this handy device. What amazing things I can do.

Oh, but wait! There's a flip side to all of this Iphone porn. It's a F#$@^%$ HUGE distraction. Oh my god! HUGE.

I can no longer go to the bathroom with my own thoughts. Bathroom is that sacred place where (hopefully) you will not be bothered. My quick pee now will last a good 10 minutes.. as long as I have my phone.

I can no longer respond to a text 30 minutes after someone has sent me one. They want an immediate response, because they too are now addicted to this overwhelming sense of urgency. You have an Iphone, You must have it on you. WHY ARE YOU NOT TEXTING ME BACK????????

I can no longer sit on my sofa with my own thoughts. I might try, but within a second I feel the buzzing. The little device aggravating me saying "You have a message! Why are you not paying attention to me!"

Not only am I addicted to this material thing, my children are starting to. They get these grabby, annoying hands that launch towards my precious white box. They want it. Why do they want it??? Because I throw a fit if they dare try and take away my crack phone!

I am wasting precious time that I could be doing other things. Iphone, you take away from my concentration. I can be sitting with my children, reading a book.. and buzzzzz. there you go again. You distract me. And like a true addict.. I can't finish the last sentence in Good night Moon because you have alerted to me and are causing me anxiety.

Oh, the anxiety. It's mind numbing. Always something to check, always something to do. Always mindless.

I held out a long time with getting an Iphone. I hated when I would be with friends and I couldn't tell if they were even paying attention to me, because in a heartbeat they would be on their phones. Old School phones didn't do this. Do you remember standing in line somewhere, 10 years ago, and seeing almost EVERY single person staring down at their smartphone? What in the world did we used to do while standing in line? Did we have thoughts? Did we think to this is a nice day? I swore that I would never be one of these people. I am now. I have that thing attached to me like it's a part of me. It's like my left hand. I really need it.

Can you remember the last time you dropped your Iphone? Panic was overwhelming as it slowly made it's way down to the floor. You hoped, oh you hoped, it was ok. Or the time you submerged it in water and you had to rush it to the Iphone hospital and you prayed for the first time in years. You prayed that dear phone would survive. While you waited the dreadful 24 hours you searched the internet and hung your head in shame thinking that you were going to have to pay $600 to replace it!?!?!

The money! Oh the money! My grandfather would roll over in his grave if he knew how much we paid in cellphone bills each month. We do it because we feel like we have to do it, but we don't. A phone for $140 a month? That's almost a car payment. That's a chunk that can go to my son's going to the Waldorf school. In just a phone....

 My other rant on this shiny crack piece is I am NEVER able to disconnect. We have a computer in our house and two Iphones. Both my husband and I sit on the sofa and one of us, if not both, is eyes wide open on our phone. It's the norm now. I have friends over, they are on their phones. I go to dinner with people, they are on their phones. My favorite is when people show up for a "catch up with friends dinner" and they plop their phones on the table.. REALLY? You want to catch up with me? Can I at least have your complete attention?

It's due time for a disconnectivity intervention. Luckily my husband and I are on the same page. We both agree that we have made our way into icky Iphone territory. We are fed up with our behaviors. Both of us are addicted, so no, we can't just put them in the other room and not think of them. This is our personality.

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So.. What are we going to do? Gasp! I think we are saying good-bye to this shiny devices. In an effort to be able to focus more, pee in less than 10 minutes, to show our children that technology addiction is not ok, to pay more full attention to our friends, family, and children. We will do this to better ourselves.

It is going to be hard. but we did away with cable. That was hard too. But it can be done. There was a time before crack devices. I think I remember liking those days better.

So what am I planning on doing after my addiction wears off? I hope to read more. I hope to sit with people and pay full attention (and if you are my friend or family.. please, let's drop the phone for a bit).. let's really connect.

Disconnect to Connect.

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